Define Your Win
Create the roadmap that works for you
Last week I shared my first lesson. If you missed it, click here for lesson 1.
We talked about building a strong foundation and making a big impact each day with a brick by brick mentality. We talked about narrowing our concentration to that One Big Thing.
"If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one" Russian Proverb
With this second email, I’ll continue mentoring the younger version of myself.
Here we go…
Winning cures everything... That’s a saying that’s constantly heard in the coaching room and in the press box.
In fact - NHL coach Willie Desjardins had signs all over the dressing room that simply said, “We win here.”
Winning is a mindset. Winning builds culture. Winning is the name of the game that leads you to the next step - whatever that step might be.
“Winning takes precedence over all. There’s no gray area. No almosts.” Kobe Bryant
“When we’re winning, that kind of cures everything,” Nathan MacKinnon
However in order to consistently win, we need to be happy - because when we’re happy and we’re enjoying the process, we give ourselves a chance to be at our best.
Alright.. Time to teach! Grab a pen and paper and let’s design your personal win with a 3 step process.
1. Define Your Goals
As I mentioned last time, It’s important to dream big and set massive and measurable goals. Write down those lofty goals and then start breaking things down into manageable chunks. Think of your goals as a roadmap that will guide you throughout your journey.
Don’t apologize for dreaming big. This is your life and you get to design it.
Challenges will happen along the way that you won’t understand at the time (it’s called life) but always remember the famous quote from Steve Jobs:
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
I’ll sum this up with a video from Kobe Bryant. True greatness! 🙏
2. Define Your Anti-Goals
This lesson became crystal clear to me 4 years ago when I was wheeled into the emergency room with 6 cardiologist standing next to me in their street clothes. I guess the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is true.
My whole life was based on scratching and clawing my way to reach any goal that I set. There was never any excuses, there was never anyone that could outwork me, there was only a ridiculous burning desire to succeed.
Shaan Puri was the first guy to verbalize this lesson to me. The lesson about setting anti-goals. If someone shared this strategy with me when I was younger I probably wouldn’t have understood. Now that I’m older and have gone through some life challenges - I totally get it!
So what are anti-goals? They can be defined as the “the things you don’t want”.
In order to know what you want, you also need to know what you don’t want. Think of it like this - What if you could get to where you want by avoiding what you don’t want?
I’ve met a lot of people that have had far more “success” than me. They have accomplished things that I dreamed of accomplishing but for several reason they just don’t seem to be happy.
Maybe they are constantly on the road and away from their families. Maybe they are stressed to the max. Maybe the stress has made them unhealthy. Maybe they missed too many of the precious little things in life. Maybe they reached their goal but the goal wasn’t what they expected it to be.
Maybe they won the battle but lost the war.
Remember that your time, energy and words are three things you can never get back once they've been exchanged.
In the book The Happiness Equation, Neil Pasricha explained how most people think happiness works:
Great work -> big success -> be happy
Study hard> great job > be happy
Work overtime > get promoted > be happy
Well it turns out if you follow that model we never actually allow ourselves to get to that 'be happy' part. It just keeps getting further and further away.
I found this to be particularly true in my career. I was never happy with where I was at because I was too busy wishing I was somewhere else.
What would have helped me is if I could have enjoyed the process by being happy first.
Be happy -> great work -> big success
In fact, the Harvard Business Review reported that: Happy people are 31% more productive, have 37% higher sales and are 3 times as more creative than their counterparts.
So write down all your anti-goals - the things you don’t want. It’s not a sign of weakness… it’s a sign of experience.
3. Define Your Win
Now that you have both your goals and anti-goals written down - you can clearly define your own personal win.
It’s up to you to define your win. It’s up to you to create the roadmap that works for you. It’s up you to create the life that will bring you the most happiness, meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.
Remember to celebrate the amazing accomplishments and friendships that you will be lucky enough to experience along the way.
Appreciate the rare opportunity that you have every day when you wake up, because only then will you realize that you have everything you need.
When you have defined your WIN - hold onto those words and that vision tightly. Let it guide you - let it fuel you. Most of all - TRUST IT!
As Theodore Roosevelt said - You have to be the man in the arena.
Alright, let that soak in Mike and I’ll be back with your next lesson soon!
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